I lost my headphones.

I didn't necessarily need them today. It was more of a random, sudden need to listen to music while I pooped in my bathroom. My poops (not that you need to know) don't always, actually hardly ever, consist of a music jam. Hell, most of the time I just listen to music in the car. Today however, it was weird. I was met with the need to relieve my bowels while listening to this song I've been playing on repeat. It wasn't something easy to let go of either. Matter of fact, I kind of threw a tantrum.

I wrestled my thoughts in my head for minute after minute, in my head countless possibilities for their disappearance took place. Multiple times I checked under my bed and my brothers (yes, we sleep in the same room). He had a habit of taking my stuff without asking, something which I, quite frankly, detest. So naturally in my mind a scenario played in which he took them to school or something. Just a week or so ago, my mother gave him his own pair of headphones, so he had no reason to take mine. Just like any fool would do, I began to come up with reasons as to why he would chose mine over his. Of course I'm the older brother so my headphones are better than his, that could be one reason. The other might as well be just to mess with me, to anger me on purpose.
I questioned him about it and he knew nothing of the matter; even though he sounded believable, I refused to believe. Caught in my own web of poisonous thoughts, I began to grow angry with him. There was no reason to say anything further for the time, so I didn't but rest assured I more than positive it had been him.

"I'll help you look for them later." He said to me, and now these words haunt me.

Two days before I posted this, on a Thursday, a guy came into our apartments to fix some blinds on my window. Right next to said window is my night table in which I had last placed my headphones. Again in my mind I began to play a scenario in which he had taken them. Maybe by mistake he had grabbed them along with his cell phone. I mean that was entirely plausible, shit, even him stealing them was plausible. Unfortunately that's where we live, no, not in a world of thieves but in a world of possibilities.

I began to blame him now, the stranger who had done a good deed for my window. The day progressed and I asked my mother if she had seen them, she had not. Maybe my stepfather had taken them. Also someone who had borrowed from me in the past. In summary I suspected everybody, even the god damn president.

I consider myself to be a good person, yet I think like this. I may be only human nature but still, it bothers me. And it bothers me only because I was so fucking wrong. I spent nearly two hours of my life searching for these headphones which were white and have now over time grown yellow. I looked everywhere I could think off (including the restroom). I even forgot all about my poop.

They were right next to the nightstand, on the floor. I probably knocked them over at night as I stretched, or maybe my brother, or maybe the repair man. Shit, who knows. What bothers me the most is how easy it was for me to assume the worse. Thinking back, the right answer, the most likely explanation is the most logical one. Maybe the reason why we fail to want to believe it is because we hate to think that we are capable of doing anything stupid or bad to ourselves. The truth is, we do, and we do it everyday. At least, now I know I do.

Thinking back, I probably did knock them over and was just to lazy to pick them up. Yeah, I'm human alright.